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yup. i can now officially say my first paper is NEXT SATURDAY. haha. i had better remember this reinforced, motivated mood i'm in now. REMEMBER THIS, I!
Now i juz realized how childish i was. Just a few days ago. Won't try so hard anymore. Let time take its course.
I like to watch primary school children as they go/leave school. I can feel their vibrant energy as they play hide and seek, chat with their mothers (a one-sided thing, usually), implore their fathers, or the maids.
I want to run when i feel lyk it. I wonder why adults cannot do so. They have to act so proper and cool. Walk slowly even when crossing the road.
ah i feel my brain turning into tofu. it was a long day today (Thursday. the last one where i gotta wake up at 6.30am!) though i have not gone to karate this week. it is time to start studying! Have been feeling isolated lately though. Books aren't good company.
I'm off. :)
And so my MSN personal msg says. I feel quite horrible now.
Watching this anime about music, La Corda d Oro, made me re-ignite my passion for music. And then i remember dance. I wanna draw too. To compare these with my liking for karate, it just pales in comparison. And so i'm thinking..
While discussing OG stuff with Hasan last night, i had a glimpse at the mechanics of leadership and the messiness of human relations. Am i up to it? To be a OGL for this year's Union Camp? Im glad i have him as a co-OGL. :) He was my fright-night partner. I wont run out on him again. Have been feeling bad since then cuz at one station, a 'ghost' suddenly crawled out so rapidly from under a cloth that i took flight and ran. I felt like i should have stood by him as my action (i tink) make him jittery thereafter.
Just now as i was reading my sociology of emotions course pack, i felt happy. Though it was tinged with sadness (why~). I had this feeling last night too when i was doing my kanji homework. I had a few more enlightenments from the course pack. It was something about Shame. The symptoms of it and the shame-anger spiral that results from it, i feel it keenly often. After realizing that this is what i have been feeling, i thought 'why should it be so'? I wanna change this. Discontent in my heart now.
Time is running out..
Also, overheard from my elder sis that she have booked a airplane ticket in June already. To go off who knows how long this time. And there's my elder brother going off for his Exchange Programme at New Zealand in the second half of this year. And there's just me and lil sis left. So now there's the feeling of loneliness.
A sense that exams are drawing near. Im finally starting to feel it. Will i be able to revise well with so many things on my mind? Heh. Let it go..
Let's get this night over and done with. I will feel better tomorrow with the sun. p.s. my desktop has a beautiful, vivid photo of a sunflower against a blue sky. Ahh.
When i have finally handed in this SC2101 assignment! Grr.. Still in the thick of it. Friday, i shall rest. Shop. With myself or mum? Jurong east library, here i come! hehe. And tomorrow will be a looong day. Haish.
The oral interview exam for japanese next wednesday seems daunting, now that Okada sensee have talked bout it. Today's skit was smooth-going! Can't believe so much time was spent on it. But i think i will be spending time on the preparation for the oral too. All for a measly unknown %.
I had better get my momentum and purpose back. And concentration. The calm before the storm.
如何して。。。
Cool i just discovered i can type in japanese in blogger as easily as in MS word, by tweaking the language bar. Muahaha. Will provide translation if i want. :3
The fatal question of the SC2101 (methods of social research) assignment, which is fraught with confusion and re-doings! :( It will be due this friday.
Tomorrow, the PR2202 (cosmetics and perfumes) project will finally be handed in, and I am the CD bearer haha. Not sure whether i burned it correctly though. I used the "Mastered" way. (help! technology is against me!) This project of PR2202 really used up lotsa time. Compare it to the MCQ of 80 questions, which takes up 20% of the grades too. Grr..
Tuesday will be the handing in of the SC2216 (emotions and social life) interview transcript. The analysis have to be done on the spot, after the tutor have been informed of what we'd done. The previous assignment, she asked me last and i had to rush off to another tutorial. Hope i can get better grades this time hehe.
Wednesday will be the acting out of the second japanese skit, whose grouping was done by Okada Sensee. I find myself being bossy among my 2 group members, forming and delegating work. But otherwise nothing gets done. Grr.. Feel bad though.
Thursday will be a long day as usual. The 12th Thursday :3. Will be going karate then, not tomorrow night. Attendance is no longer taken down, as a minimum of 60% is needed to qualify for grading.
And Friday will be the handing in of the final assignment of this sem. Whew. I wanna go shopping on Friday! Before the last week of school, where i should be cheonging in the exam preparation.
But i wanna be happy! At the wrong time..
Wooo almost forgot my password to this place haha. Someone reminded me to blog. ^_^
Hmm where shall i start? Uni life makes you mature quite fast. Or is it just me.
Many enlightenments or moments of wistfulness, contentment, envy, longing etc from moments as normal as walking along the crowded AS1 walkway, sunlight filtering through the leaves, and the sound of locusts. Ahh Summer. Sunny and rainy at the same time. And while studying and facing the window with nice greenery (i like to face the window while studying. and drink a can of cool, thick milo. nice), and i saw a pair of squirrels playing among the tree branches.
Or when going to school on Thursdays (8am lessons, ends at 6pm and still got karate+supper. i have survived so far. It's the 11th Thursday this sem :3), and looking at the youthful primary school kids going to school with their mothers/maids/friends. Ah i miss the innocence and exuberance of childhood. haha. I will then look up to the blue sky and think, the only thing stopping me from flying through such a vast expanse, to go as high as i can, is myself. A surge of determination follows.
The weeks alternate between fatigue and action. It's almost the end of the second semester. Im glad to have made nice friends, for our paths to cross in the first place. I like sociology too. It makes you question the given norms of society, and also gives many insights on the understanding yourself. Wah the readings in the course pack of SC2216 (Emotions and Social Life) are long, abstract, but will suddenly throw something at u that u hav not thought of before and make u go *wah* or *oh no*. Especially the ones on Romance in Late Modernity. I was quite affected from reading that. hehe.
Onwards with Japanese! Still thinking of whether to continue with level 2 or not. It saps all my free time away. I have restricted myself too much in the sem so far, forcing myself to do Japanese once i reach home, and the day's work. So now, i wanna rest (at the wrong time! :3). heh. Have written my to-do-list for the holidays already. Looking forward to it :)
