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NUS!!!
Ok i have decided. After hum-ing and haw-ing for a month, dragging it to the last possible moment, and consulting various sources, the outcome is so.
But many doubts still linger, bout the chim online bidding business, of that super huge faculty and so on.
But for bout 70-80%, it's NUS. ^^
Once i settle it i can go about for some serious relaxing before the forbidding majorly busy weekend that everybody have promised. Ugh.
All i can say bout that is i will have to know when to smile and to work faster. =_=
I will have to harden my heart.
Anyway, Im now keeping track of which uni everybody is going.
So many different paths.
K muz quickly head off to that postbox with my form A.
listening: Hey Jude (beatles)
mood: emotionally exhausted XP
went for the food fair yesterday with family. The greedy me surfaces when it sees food samples ;p''
lazy, lonely afternoon with me at bro's laptop, with sick elder sis playing her com game, joining mum later for movie? wanted to exercise but o well ^^
The past week has been marred by my feelings of fear and anxiety.
But enough of that already. Delving deeper makes me feel worse (heart is sinking now as i type '_').
I feel better now as i know about 60% of my work. Handled my first registration yesterday. But i was trembling as a sup was watching over my movements. I cant even key in the numbers properly!!!
A past article in Recruit about change is that u need Protection, Security, and Bonding to be able to get past the negative feelings. I agree with that. Im still seeking a solid base in this job.
Have been lunching alone this past few days too. :(( I found out that being in the Operations dept esp in the HQ branch at Bukit Gombak is the most heong one. Stressful weekends that you cant escape from, different dept from where the bulk of other temps are in, sup that dont allow a moment of leg shaking ("Go shred paper!"). I have lost my appetite too. Which is a bad thing as there's only a half hour break and i always reach home with gastric pain. I dun wanna get stomach ulcer!! '_'
I admire some of the other temps for their rock steady calm composure, their ease in dealing with situations, and friendliness with everybody in the com. I cant even be myself now. Working on that :)
Anyway things can only get better. :D After the trough comes the peak.
Hmmmm NUS or NTU? None of my friends are entering the same course as me. But its not that. NTU there's the hostel arrangement, but there's the 90 people faculty (more like a family? but a narrower mean passing grade according to bro). NUS there's the bro's rep to live up to, but there's USP (am i biting off more than i can chew?? I realised that in this Customer Service job of mine. Thought i preferred CS to admin stuff but look what happened). ANd i sometimes have sudden doubts on my decision to read Sociology or Arts and Social Sciences. Can i take it?? I still like my Bio, i have certain interest in Tourism, Arts Design and Media. SO why did i just make a beeline for Soci?
An excerpt from Yahoo:
This is why we need dogs. They do something for us that rarely a human companion can do. No matter how much you mess up your life, or how much wrong you do, no matter how many mistakes you make or how often you make them, regardless of your looks, income or social standing, your dog never judges you. He always thinks you are wonderful and loves you with all his heart.
Awwww... Yes it's true. Everyday when i come back from work, just petting Crystal's warm furry lil head just makes my hand and heart melt as she gives a wide grin. It puts tears in my eyes as i recount the pressures i faced in work that day.
Must prep myself up for work during my off days today and tomorrow. Must face my fears and anxieties squarely. How else can i function? I do not want to fall into mental distress just because of a vacation job (which i thought i could take on a long term basis -_- let's see how that goes).
And so a week has passed since i joined this company. It seemed so long ago from my frolic-y flyer distributing days.
And i cant meet friends during weekends when i need the friendly warm faces most at this point of time.
listening: madame butterfly (ugh tragedy!)
mood: purging the system
home alone, with Crystal in the living room's sofa.
Drizzling, grey skies.
Gonna find mum later to get some makeup.
Dun wanna be caught by sup!
WOw it has been 2 weeks?
Last week was a physically exhausting stint as a flyer distributor with QQ at Junction 8. It was great to have QQ along as she is my 'Happy Fruit' :D being with her makes me laugh a lot. ^^ There were many ridiculous episodes involving spending half our lives in toilet cubicles, stolen water bottles, blind musicians (there was a guy who sang 'You're Beautiful' that just puts tears in my eyes) and LOTSA flyers - a never ending supply of them.
That one week has taught me many things.
- Body language of 'yes' or 'no' when people want the flyers or not (involving their eyes and hands. The timing betwwen the upheld and zooming-in hand must be good otherwise the flyer will crash into the recipient's body. How embarrasing!!)
- I love to laugh freely and a lot :D
- J8 toilet is really clean! ^^
- There is so much kindnes and wonderful things in the world! WHile i see the charitable acts of commutors who pause to listen to music or to donate $. Awwww.. :3 Also when they take pity on us and helped relieve us of our burdens. There is also this kindly auntie who gave us Golden Throat lozenges (which i later gave to the excellent singer. He accepted it so trustingly) and Black Pepper potato chips (which were soon STOLEN! along with our poor water bottles. It's not the first time. '_')
ANd on Monday when me and QQ went to Bugis to submit the timesheets, we had a great sushi buffet! We were too greedy and resorted to underhand means ala Mr Bean to finish off the remains.
Poor QQ got the flu right after that. Get healthy soon!
Tuesday was my first day of work at Just Education, Bukit Gombak branch.
Ah im running out of time. Wanna go shopping at causeway point later. The sales start today!! :D
Anyway im afraid of the customers!! I shouldnt run away from them anymore when i resume work tomorrow!!! GRRRRR JIA YOU!! The other EOAs are really friendly in that they crowded in at the pantry when they saw me there lunching alone. :) But i still feel uncomfortable among them. Especially the illustrator who im in awe of. ^^ JIA YOU! Dun dread ur work!! Take it easy!!!
Im off!
Last lesson of Jap tonight! Dun tink i will continue with the series of lessons though the chubby balding instructor is lovable but he spends 60% of the time talking bout his life story :D
listening: Corrinne May's Silent night (i nid to be soothed!!)
mood: tense.
