Navigations are at the top
ABOUT {what i've}
LINKS {been looking for}
TAG {all this time}
bold italic underline link
Highs and lows..
Adding depth to my emotional landscape.
Hope taken away in a day to be replaced by abject despair, to be refreshed the next day.
Im off to the interview that was cancelled but is on again.
Not that im ungrateful but it just adds abit more white hair u noe.
It has been 3 weeks and a careless comment by the brother just makes me feel worse. He said he may find a job earlier than me (at the rate im going)cuz his exams are ending this week. Which adds in new competitiors to the already turgid pool of impoverished students out for temp jobs.
Oh well.
(^_^)
mood: wa lau any job will do lah!!
listening: anime collection 1
What should i be doing? (^_^)
I feel like a retired auntie (thanks to NM for this idea): finding a job at Causeway Point, shopping with mum, watching drama serials...
It required much courage to enter the shop not as a customer but as a lil gal looking for employment. But once u start, the rest comes easily. So far, i have filled in the employment forms of fashion.lab, Ice Lemon Tee, Kiddy Palace, Motherland, and Ichiban Boshi. Still no squeaks from Metro or Harry Winston collections, which are due today or tomorrow.
And i came across an Ah Lian sales manager at the new shop, Pur Pur. So i entered the shop and asked "Are you hiring?", and she who was toking to other sec sch ah lians said "Yea, why?". It's like wa lau lah. I juz said nevermind then and she diaoed me like hell as i made a hasty retreat. Sheesh. The one at fashion.lab next door is much better :) cuz she was teaching another newbie sales gal.
Shopping with mum has its perks (she pays!! ;p) but it makes me feel bad that she is handing away her $10 notes like it's free flyers. '_' We had nice lunches at CWPT these few days, and so far i bought a nice pair of Giodarno jeans ($15 sale!!) but its quite low and tight but its the last pair of that size! I bought a nice Nivea toner too. My pores are enlarging till they are like craters. "_"
So i woke up unwillingly this late morn and moved to the living room to continue sleeping. Nufin to do what! :(( And a job offer called at 10+ and i was immediately awake. Please i really want to have a job!!! *prays really hard* And they need 50 people. You can go check out jobfactory.com (i tink) for the job.
Anyway my sis' Australian bf is once again dropping by tml and will be staying for a whole month. Wont be able to use this com then? Imagine u juz woke up and went to have a nice refreshing cup of water and suddenly this tall ang mo came out from ur bro's toilet and said "G'day" to u. lol. I can divert him to orchard's library cuz he likes jap stuff too ^^
What should i be doing?? Im wasting my time. I need an outlet to release the raging energies within. I have been thinking too much lately. I think im gonna go mental soon. @_@
ps. i have disconnected my Shutterfly link. I need some privacy and there are some weird pics in it (i think). hehe
mood: lethargic
listening: L'arc's Awake (the irony!! haha)
From the tuition job. Shit lah i put in so much effort and they still complain bout my attitude.
All because of my plea for not too many time-changings, saying i have my own appointments (job searching), how was i to know the lil boy was sick that's why they wanted to change the time? And they were asking me whether i can have it on the next day and i said no, im not free and they didnt reply to my msg. Even when i tried to call them on Sunday morn (cuz i was going to be late) they didnt pick up the phone and when i was waiting outside the house for 5-10min, pressing the doorbell and calling again, they didnt bother. Damn rude lah. They said they see no point in replying to a msg like that, saying this is the first time a tutor did that to them (like what, declare i have a life of my own?? not like I am the one who's always changing the time or not turning up for lessons!) There were even flashes of anger in the elder sis eyes (it was her hp). Wa lau lah!!!
I was damn traumatised and angry and sad. Cried a lil while walking to causeway point (didnt wanna waste $$ on a lil bus ride). Thankfully L asked to meet for breakfast before the incident and i juz aboosh. A terrible truth was made known too. (ahahaha juz kidding gal ^^)
But when i thought of how i was going to face the family, i juz broke down. Right in the dining room.
Enough. Im off to interviews at Orchard to become a sales girl! It have freed me, at least, to do what i really want - to see, breathe, and touch clothes the whole day! :D
mood: spent
listening: anime TM revolution
Im sick!! X_X
Thoughts of Dengue, Appendicitis and the like filtered through my mind as i lay on my bed, at 7.15am. My joints ached and i was so cold and the glaring morning light from the window shone directly onto my eyes. I thought i would have to be hospitalised and i couldnt sleep.
Well, i survived in the end and am able to blog here, with remnants of a headache and runny nose and phelgmy cough. It was just a few weeks ago that i fell sick with a horrible sore throat. Why did it have to come back again??
Anyway, it has been 2 weeks since i've quit my childcare job and here i am, still unemployed. :3 I just feel tired of this endless, futile job search. I want to give it up and vegetate at home. But then a few days ago my astrology reading said something bout futile efforts but then i will be able to learn much more than gaining easy successes. Well said!
But here i am, disheartened again.
Yesterday's interview had another regret. Let's call it the Regret of the Day. The interviewer asked what are my hobbies. I said reading and watching japanese animation. Fullstop. Why didnt i elaborate more and suit my hobbies to the job of customer service? Such passive hobbies.. The previous interview at GE money had another Regret of the Day as the only thing the interviewer was interested in was my 2 year stint at ISB when i was a wee kid. I didnt elaborate further and gush bout how great it was (but then i didnt think it mattered to my present condition).
Anyway so i arrived early for the interview, about 1.10pm at the building. As the office was closed for lunch, i went to the next door cafe for a drink of Season's Barley (my fav drink! ^^) to calm my nerves. I attracted some attention at the small cafe but i didnt care. And at 1.30pm, i apprehensively entered the office, proclaiming my interview appointment. And they had to drop a bomb on me. I was at the wrong building. Their directions were unclear and i was panicking. Shit im late!! In the end i just asked the security guard for directions. -_-
So im at a loss at what to do as the newspapers, jobcentral.com and st701.com didnt have nice job offers (im being picky??), and i called the Adroit agent to find out bout the results of the interview. She said to wait till the end of the day.
The Shutterfly link works!! But why dont the pictures appear in their respective albums?? They are all dumped into a collection, all 160 of them. The supposed albums are Daily Adventures, Working!!, Back to School, and The Schooling Daze (in any order).
And why doesnt cbox work anymore?? All of ur blogs' cbox had a white 'restricted access' message, and i cant access livejournals.com. Hmmmm.
I have slept for too long. Think i will be awake much of tonight. Will be going to the spetacle shop later to collect my new pair of contact lens. Im trying out Bausch & Lomb as i think Biomedic is too dry for my eyes. Will go NTUC for some foodie experience. :D
The recent Ice Lemon Tee sale concluded on Sunday with all their clothes and bags going for 2 for $10.95 (prev 1 for $10.95 AUGH). Overall i bought many nice bags and clothes. (anyone interested in a spare pair of earrings? a long, blue dangling one made of many nice beads, roses, and metal tear-shaped bits. I have a purple one already but had to satisfy the 3 for $1.95 (it was previously 3 for $5.95!! Augh Ah Bao we were cheated!) requirement. Giving it away for free. :D )
Im growing fat around my waist and bottom. :(( looking for nice CC courses later. Aiya dun have time to look at the jap cd rom the instructor gave! Im determined to take the JLPT 4 and 3! And my ambition of being a foreign diplomat!!
mood: sickly Xp
listening to: L'arc's Awake
It will be at 1.30pm.
Let's not say anything more bout that in case i jinx it. :X
Anyway, i've got the USP interview ting letter!
It will be on 2nd May at 9am. Oooo must take off on that day (if im happily employed by then that is hahaha).
So after the interview later on which is in Bishan somewhere, i will go junction 8 shop shop abit. :D
Cya then!
Aiya keep forgetting to search for a nice CC course for us! Forgive me A and B! I was addicted with Neopets! XD
mood: apprehensive
listening to: Corrinne May's The Gift
Poto Potato!!
Went for The Phantom of the Opera musical last night at the beloved Esplanade.
We (mum dad elder sis and me!) were late!! Reached there at 8.03pm and it seems that they have this policy against latecomers. That if u arrive after 8.01pm, u will have to sit at the sofas reight outside the entrances to the hall and stare at the tv screens as u feel ur $$ draining away by the minute, while "waiting for the next interval or suitable pause, if there is one." How ominous can this get, insinuates the signboard proudly sitting in front of us. But thankfully we only (only??) missed 5 minutes, including that precious grand opening by the orchestra.
Speaking about the orchestra, who was below the stage, and especially bout that conductor. Ah, the conductor was so cooool. A head of shoulder length eye-catching silver hair, a lithe silm body clad in a sleeveless black shirt. Wow if the conductor was a guy, i have found myself a new idol. But then. it's a she. Haha oh well. I still think she's really attractive, sometimes wearing headphones, and smoothly removing them with a hand, and standing infront of a glaring yellow-lit conductor's stand, being engulfed in the fog created by loads of dry ice (hahaha) ok i was not exactly concentrating on the stage the whole time.
I find that i can do without the going ons on the stage as i was weaned on the audio mode alone. But the Phantom had a smexy voice while Christine.. hmmm yes i agree with L that Sarah Brightman had a better, warmer voice.
Us sitting at the highest, furthest back seats (circle 3, JJ blah) was quite good actually but those things going on right at the top of the stage were blocked by the decorations at the top part of the curtains. Hmmm hard to describe really, me not knowing the technical terms and all. I was equipped with a pair of tiny green binoculars (NDP '97) which helped me spy on the conductor (hehe).
We had a great spicy Thai dinner at Thai Express Bistro at Raffles City (MUCH better than the one at Causeway Point), a treat from Elder Sis. The green curry chicken was excellent!! Yummy! It was creamy, had fillets of boneless chicken in it with some potatos, and it was spicy. Brrrr. The seafood tomyum was worse. Super spicy! I only dared to drink a spoon of it. Xp It was a yellowish cloudy thing, not a hint of chilli oil, which is just deceiving. And their was crispy tasty fried tau pok (mum commented that it just looks like those fried things from NTUC), and a seafood vermicilli (spell?) salad which was also spicy lol. It was the dessert that did us in and it was i who insisted on it. Opps.
So we had to rush all the way to the esplanade with the poor parents rushing behind us. Elder sis was right ahead and losing her patience, snapping at me to hurry up cuz she doesnt know the way, but i didnt want the parents to lose their way (which they almost did). Augh. I feel like we were out of our depths mingling with the posh crowd at Raffles city. Some SA pp, yesh i feel that the gals decked in my past uniform were all .... I just diaoed them lah when they did it to me. Heck.
I argued with my parents cuz i wanted to buy the $25 programme booklet (i wanted to sniff out the conductor's bio) but i only bought $12. I really lost my patience then. Seething with resentment (as scorpions are wont to do), i loitered behind them. But today, i felt that i wouldnt die without it so im ok now. :)
Had a great sleep last night. But my handphone alarm didnt ring again and my normal alarm clock has run out of electricity!! So i woke up at 12+pm with a stiff neck OUCH. Aiya wanted to do more things today. Anyway why arent anybody calling me with job offers???? I really need the $$. Went in a emailing-resume frenzy the last few days but today i juz feel lazy to do it as i dont get the response i want. Ok there were a few calls and one involving Customer Service in the Tourism industry was so attractive cuz u get to play tour guide!! My dad even helped me make an interview appointment cuz i was out jogging (no aerobics--> fatty guilt!) but in the end it was for a permanent post! The friendly guy accused me of not stating my temp status (i did, didnt i??).
So here i am still at home with no stable working future. Ah Bao!! I think i will still be jobless when u retire from ur job at the end of the month so we can go job-searching tgt le!! Aiya pathetic lah!!! Grrrr. Anyway i have dug out my Princess Hours dvd so i may be doing that for the next few days?? Im tired of flipping thru Recruit!! Positively sick of it!!
mood: hopelessly jobless X_X
listening to: Spirited Away soundtrack
Ok i was in a hypernervous state yesterday, about (what else is new ^^) my current state of unemployment.
Must have been cuz of my nerves inducing dreams, the most memorable one is of my $15 brown plaid pants from Samuel & Kevin which went missing and i was desperately searching for it (no kidding). It was love at first sight/touch, which made me immediately buy that pair (when i usually take about 10-20min to decide).
And just this morning, i had this cool dream of me drinking on a sofa at some lounge and who else but Hyde, the lead singer from L'arc en Ciel, entered the room (there were other people there but i do not know them), took a drink, and sat very close to me, thigh to thigh!! LOL. It was so warm and i felt happy. This happened when i realised that his voice is actually so smexy (a term fangals used from their websites. Unclear about its exact meaning but it's so apt!) on Tuesday (or was it Wed? Cham no job to help me mark the passage of time. But today is Friday. :D ) as i was transporting to that ill-fated interview (any relation with that fated Starhub job $7/hr job? Maybe $7/hr jobs dislike me. Sheesh. U betta watch out! Im gonna get u man!!!!), I was listening to a L'arc album and his voice was ommph. Haha. Love the songs but in real life they are as crude as any other rock bands. As in cursing, seemingly drunk during performances, and too sober during interviews and variety shows.
Anyway, i feel better today. Cuz I have just (over-zealously) sent my resume to a few companies on Jobsfactory.com and also managed to get the much sought-after job consultant over at Kelly Services, and also called Adroit again. So i feel like i have done something and can relax (hopefully) during the weekends. But then i have to use my bro's com as my resume is over there and he's still sleeping! Aiya can one lah!!
I cant keep my mind off the Ice Lemon Tee sale at Causeway point. This unhealthy obsession with clothes have to be stopped. Just think of that dwindling bank account!! But then.. $10.95 only! And as i have told Ah Bao, it was at its peak yesterday as their 2 for $10.95 items have been changed to 3 for $10.95!. This includes nice belts with great metal buckles ( i got a purple one. really nice!), good quality spaghetti tops (with a tad too much lace and rhinestones for some ;). Im really happy with the blue and black ones i've got. Excellent value! Im known as the great Sales Queen (thx to my shopping kakis for that title, where is that coronation ceremony with free food for the Queen eh?? ^^), who usually dont spend much but when a good sale comes along (with at least 50% discounts), just look at my flying debit card! haha. *sigh* mixed feelings about that.
Anyway the US com doesnt want me. Grrrr. At least i didnt waste my transport there. But it has got me worried as most of my job consultants say that there are many candidates for too few temp job positions and me asking for a one of at least $6.50/hour, i can just go and wait long long. Haha, no they didnt say that exactly. Hmmm am i being too picky? But i have to get one that puts min $900/mth in my bank (aft CPF deductn) so that i can get the laptop and am able to fund my own overseas trip. (ok i think too far but i wanna go overseas to study for at least a while!)
I should be going for the NTU tea 'party' later at 5.30pm. For some sociology thing. Should be. Hehe. First i must know how to get there. No diverting to Jurong Point. Hey great idea!! muahaha. But wait. Im complaining bout putting $$ in the bank and yet im spending it like it's free. Duh. '_'
Hmmmm what should i do till like 4.30pm??
mood-o-meter: free. $_$
listening to: Love 2000 theme (ah so calming and dreadfully romantic!)
Wa seh my right foot's lil toe hurts!!
Went to a time wasting 5 min interview at Raffles Place. Enuf bout it see whether can get it first then i comment bout it more.
Later at 7.30pm i have another tuition session. I have enuf of their time changing! But poor mum lah she sounds so harried and breathless cuz if only one of her kids have something on she has to start arranging everybody's schedules like a chain effect. One has the A's, another the O's, and the one im tutoring has PSLE. Poor ting. But then.. it's a hassle for me too cuz i dunno when i can go shopping or slack or rush down and all.
Today i went to the Esplanade, then Vivocity with abit of Harbourfront SC cuz i got lost hehe. Wa the library @ esplanade is such a nice cosy place! If not for my feet pain i would have stayed there longer. I sat by the windowstill bathed in the morning sun reading bout ballet. And the scenary is great too. hehe.
After that i had lunch at SUperdog at Vivo. Nice as usual good ting they intro some coupons to us poor pp le. My 3rd time there dunno why go vivo have to eat there. Might as well go to nearby IKEA right? but i leg pain. Anyway A u muz gambatte k! Dun let that dao partner of yours belittle u or anything! I shudder to tink of my own meetings with 'this type' of people. Ah yet another subtle discrimination. Well i will get the chance to check the people out at a (time-wasting?) tea session at NTU. Nothing exclusive mind u. They juz invite pp who have put soci as their first choice. The prob is i still didnt get the email the person promised me on how to get there. Oh well.
After that nice lunch (i ta pao-ed the yummy fries ^^) i walked around vivo, got lost and ended up at harbourfront, then cuz of the feet pain, spent a nice hour at the big bookshop of vivo. Called 'Page one' i think. Read about Princess Ma~ (aiya cant remember e name now) of Japan. Aiyo so poor ting! But i tink the author like quite biased against Japan and its traditions.
K gotta go now! tink sis is coming back soon! feel uncomfortable in her room.
mood: leg pain. busy. but better than having nufin to do!!
A cool website! If u dun like the results cuz ur photo isnt a very flattering one, just try again!! haha. Hmmm but i dun tink i look like Maggie Cheung. Will try again next time. ^^
Also, I have uploaded my shutterfly link for our viewing pleasure.Still not sure how to do it though :p
I have been reading my second book of Paulo Coelho recently. First it was 'The Alchemist' and now, 'By the river Piedra I sat down and wept'. All I can say is, WOW. hehe.
I can relate to the second book more easily as the female protaganist was weak, but as the story continues, she starts to understand herself and Life, through the revelations of her seminarian boyfriend. Im left with 1/3 of the book and I can sense a love tragedy coming (actually the intro already hinted at this hehe).
I highly recommend these books to one and all. Pages full of wisdom that make me feel like taking note of everything but it's just too much. ^^
Ok enough of an impromptu book review (Im not paid to do this u know ^^). Recently there have been a string of events that I take as omens. Im going for a job interview for a telesales position at some US finance company at Raffles Place. It is so reminscent of that ill-fated Starhub telesales job at $7/hr too. That ended in failure as the company decided to have experienced people guarding its lines. My first foray into the job scene, my first visit to a recruit agency, and it had to conclude that way, in far-flung Tampines.
The second coincidence is that I have been thinking why the major religions are so male-dominated, when one and all originate from women in the first place. I have been praying everynight to God and Goddess, a divine duo like that Yin & Yang symbol. And 'By the river Piedra..' came along, agreeing with some of my beliefs of the sacred feminine. Last night, I slept with a new found peace in my heart, inspired and motivated to live everyday intensely.
Sometimes, I feel like doing so many things, to pursue all my passions, that I get heated up by an internal flame. But it only lasts a few minutes. What will it be like to sustain this flame? wow.. I will be striving towards this, and to build up my confidence and communication skills. The job Im going for promises all these and more. It's so near the Esplanade, my favourite building (for its interior ^^) besides my house. hehe. I long to perform there as a dancer one day. Ah, to dream again. No more muddling through everyday. A new found purpose. Im coming..
Yesterday I went to look for a job at recruit agencies located in Jurong East and Tanjong Pagar. There is a certain branch at Jurong that made me realise the attribute that i detest above all else. Discrimination. Especially that due to the colour of your melanin. That branch was just damn mean to their dark skinned counterparts who came all the way from Malaysia, to be treated like shit. Ok maybe Im over-reacting, that cuz there was a queue forming at their doors and they were harried and stressed and had to fire rapid questions to the job seekers, no concern at all at their welfare, and were almost attacking their sense of self-worth with fanged and clawed questions. Over-reacting? Maybe it's just that bitchy person. Dont let one person destroy the reputation of the whole establishment.
Another thing that I feel strongly for is the discrimination against women. Whenever I read or hear about a rape case, I absolutely hate the man/men who commited it. I feel like personally castrating them. Hmmm personal grudges towards males? Looks like I wont get a boyfriend anytime soon. ;p
Oh gosh i have just received the email from my job consultant confirming the interview tomorrow. Augh its at some posh place involving the whole floor as its office and an appointment with the receptionist. I have to read up at the company's website too! Ok stop panicking and remeber that you really really want the job and u are not letting the receptionist or the settings cow u. And forget that interviews have always been ur bane. Tomorrow is a second chance to achieve what i want. Grrrrr... Yes!!! Gamabatte!
mood-o-meter: Grrrr let the will overcome the fear!! >:O
I've told her that im quitting!
Wa wanted to talk bout more but my brain is having a nuclear meltdown.
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 BABOOM!
Didnt sleep on Sunday night thinking about this vacation job that i will forget about in 10 years' time. What i do want to remember in 10 years' time is what a great time i'd had in uni. My (i wish, i want, i get) best schooling years. Enough of blurry primary school days (though to date pri6 was excellent), and a cocooned sec sch life, a torturous JC spell... The final chance to go get what I want! YEA!!!
Reading 'The Alchemist' now and it is really a life-changing book. Every page is chock full of wisdom and i need to slow down and think for a while before continuing. Waaaaa..
In summary, Im looking forward to m next nice job! Not before i rest abit first hehe.
I dislike this worrying part of me. A chronic incurable part of me that gives me headaches and stomach tightnesses. Ah blame it on my Virgo Ascendant (what im supposed to be on the inside. The sunsign is how u appear to be to others who do not know u well).
And just when i was feeling down and self-piting these few days, i met this 'visually disabled man' on the bus. He sat beside me and i recognised that he was the same one this morning at the bus stop. I wanted to help him but didnt dare. After trailing him for a minute, i finally asked him where he wanted to go. (i learned that u guide by letting him put a hand on your shoulder). Hmmm his eyes were clear and blinking but he couldnt see? I always chat too much about myself when im meeting someone new. To make up for my 'listening ear' role that i often play with my friends?
After i left him at his block, tears came to my eyes. Here is a man who lost a part of him and yet he is even more cheerful and good natured than the average person. I was so touched. And here i am, wallowing in my seemingly huge problems of employment and i cant sleep nor enjoy myself properly anymore?
I love every one of my five senses. To admire wonderful scenary, sunset, sunrise, and colouflu flowers and my cute dog and loved ones and nice clothes and great books and every form of visual media? To hear your loved ones talk to you and to wondefully grand orchestra music ala Mononoke Hime? To touch smooth cool silks, warm fur, ec? And to taste all the delicious food of the world? And to smell the roses and food?
I am humbled. I feel so selfish. And yet i cant change this worrying part of me that gnaws at my sanity and makes me suspect im neurotic. A future candidate for IMH.
I need a break.
feeling: spent Xo
