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My company had a event for all its temp staff 'EOA' today, which includes me! Hehe. And somehow, i got into the first singing competition of my life so far. (not voluntarily) But it was an interesting experience. (i didnt win haha) I sang 'Feng' by Jay Chou. Wanted 'Tian shi' by Mayday but it was too recent. (??) I was so jittery!!! At bout 1+am last night i finally sat down to listen to Feng in my mp3 while staring at the lyrics. *_*
And today, the few practice songs were bad as my vocal cords were too tense. It's either too low or high. And when the competition started, my heart went BABAMPBABAMP. The emcee announced my name, applause, and there i was! The competitors agreed to face the screen (karaoke style) and i did that but somehow, people started to turn towards the audience more and more -_-. I was contestant no.3 (by drawing lots). The beginning was good (if i may say so ^^) but i didnt have the stamina and it just rolled downhill like cheese.
My companion who was also put into the competition unknowingly like me, also a first timer, got 3rd! Not bad! SHe is a Yanzi fan, and her voice is good. Wa but the champion was really good! *duh * haha. Her voice was really like Liang Jinru aka Fish.
Since JC ended, i have been exposed to Chinese culture and sorta know more Chinese songs then English ones now. Or are they equal? I like them all lah! :D
And now i know how to say 'deposit', 'admin fee', and 'form' in Chinese!
Im sorta used to work as a customer service now. But this was after the outburst last Monday ._, It was embarrassing to say the least and i cant properly face the in charge till now. But she is actually a nice person. She bought us a souvenir when she went vacationing. ^^ A black and white pig (why is it so popular these days?) photo album.
I have this tendency to shift into different persona's just to please people. It's just not the real me. How can i settle this? It's my authenticity at stake. I realised this while on stage. I just played along with the emcee, laughing and agreeing with whatever he commented bout me. I became a jay chou fan in the eyes of everybody. But im not that big a fan, i like lots of other groups! But they said i kept smiling as i faced the screen, so am i like watching his every move? I just agreed. '_' This must stop. I want to display my true self but it's so hard! There are so many sides of me that i dont even know of (not schizophrenia please ^^).
I think i will be this slimy chameleon when i set off for my NUS Arts camp next Tuesday. '_'
Being real is so important to me. I dislike fakeness and hypocrisy. Stop me. '_'
Anyway if i get into another singing competition, i want to sing Corrinne May's songs. :D i sound good in the toilet! haha. The sound system is good. Really amplified, and so relaxing!
My dad's birthday today. A Gemini. I got (on behalf of all the children) herbal therapeutic toothpaste (he uses China tea to brush his teeth! *_*), Kinohimitsu heating pads (sore and numb muscles), and fibre powder (piles problem). All are wrapped nicely in pink wrapper and tied with gauzy red ribbon. It seems so long since i have involved myself with the present beautification. I really like to make it beautiful. (am i hiding an attention-seeking streak within?).
So busy with work, no time to meet JC and sec sch friends! The ties that bind are getting rusty. And next stop is uni life, which is another test. Hang on!!
mood: tumultuous, tired. #_#
BUSY!
I have no time to sprout a nice long entry.
My house went under massive rearranging as a Feng SHui person (my mum's crystal seller fren) visited my house yesterday. Muz pack everything again!! :((( I muz say that im a hoarder. Any thing of sentimental value, since pri sch days, i've faithfully kept them. That's why my table is full of dusty things. -_-
It seems that my fav colour of pink, orange, purple, and red are ALL unlucky colours for me! The ones for me are blue, green, white, black etc. And i thought i needed to inject some life into my wardrobe.
My mum, lil sis and i will go Courts later to get a new study table for me as the old one cannot fit into the new location.
And after that SUSHI BUFFET!
mood: hungry ;p'
listening: It's my life by bon jovi
Ah my idealism is acting up again making me feel better.
Hehe it looks like my interests are in Food, Art and Writing.
I totally forgot about my great passion in food! :D Hmmm does that mean i should go be a chef or something?
I love to design menus and create new dishes! I love to design and create sculptures and jewellery! And to illustrate and write stories.
Ah remembering my loves makes me feel alive again.
I feel so old and unfit these days. And financially pathetic. Ugh.
The surprise birthday celebration for BH today was a flop. I thought it will be great to celebrate it at SA, with all the nostalgia and all that. Well it looked like i was missing out on something. Oh well. And the mini cake was too oily. *_*
Yes, going back to SA to collect the leather bound booklet of the SGC juz raked up all the bittersweet memories which really sapped my energy. And in that mood that lasted the whole day, i came back home and then found out that my application to USP was unsuccessful via email. And im still have fears bout my current job. All these negative emotions that have been filling me this past week overwhelmed me and i felt defeated and i lost hope.
But im better now. :)
Must make full use of my last off day tomorrow!!
But its a paradox - that off days are to be relaxed in and here i am frantically cramming my activities, feeling uneasy if im caught having NOTHING TO DO. Think im suffering from short term memory regarding my list of to do's during the hols. So im left with doing nothing.
I feel out of my depth. Losing touch with all those dear to me, im too wrapped up in my inner turmoil and job woes. Why am i living this type of life?? Time to change it man!!! GRRRRR....
Onwards!!! Charge!!!
listening: Alone by BeeGees (haha)
mood: grrrrr! x:l
I am disillusionised.
Just this morning, i was happy and passionate.
Now, my heart is so heavy.
Enough said. Im tired.
listening to: Fly away by FIR
