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Ah my idealism is acting up again making me feel better.
Hehe it looks like my interests are in Food, Art and Writing.
I totally forgot about my great passion in food! :D Hmmm does that mean i should go be a chef or something?
I love to design menus and create new dishes! I love to design and create sculptures and jewellery! And to illustrate and write stories.
Ah remembering my loves makes me feel alive again.
I feel so old and unfit these days. And financially pathetic. Ugh.
The surprise birthday celebration for BH today was a flop. I thought it will be great to celebrate it at SA, with all the nostalgia and all that. Well it looked like i was missing out on something. Oh well. And the mini cake was too oily. *_*
Yes, going back to SA to collect the leather bound booklet of the SGC juz raked up all the bittersweet memories which really sapped my energy. And in that mood that lasted the whole day, i came back home and then found out that my application to USP was unsuccessful via email. And im still have fears bout my current job. All these negative emotions that have been filling me this past week overwhelmed me and i felt defeated and i lost hope.
But im better now. :)
Must make full use of my last off day tomorrow!!
But its a paradox - that off days are to be relaxed in and here i am frantically cramming my activities, feeling uneasy if im caught having NOTHING TO DO. Think im suffering from short term memory regarding my list of to do's during the hols. So im left with doing nothing.
I feel out of my depth. Losing touch with all those dear to me, im too wrapped up in my inner turmoil and job woes. Why am i living this type of life?? Time to change it man!!! GRRRRR....
Onwards!!! Charge!!!
listening: Alone by BeeGees (haha)
mood: grrrrr! x:l
