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Wow my head hurts after filling up the uni admin forms. Ugh. Too much nervous tension. And i had so many things to blog about! Not much time left too cuz i still wanna nap then go for SSO's performance at the field beside Causeway Point. It's called Russia@Woodlands. Hey why did that become a website address? Dun click on it folks. ^^ Anyway it's a new experience. The ad said it's not everyday that u are allowed to eat at a concert. Oooo cheese hotdog, here i come!! :p'
On Friday, i organised a Kbox outing, promising Riverside kakis that it will be below $20 (i asked bro!!) and it turned out to be almost $30+. :(( Furthermore, we could only sing till 11pm (when we started at 8+!). LX proceeded to argue with the staff all the way to the manager. But i had to leave at 11+ to catch the last bus. Felt bad leaving them in th lurch. But it turned out to be successful and they could stay till 3am. Heard that they stayed at Mac to catch the first train home.
Hmm do i feel like i have missed out on the fun? No. Sad to say, i didnt really enjoy myself. It's as if we have outgrown each other. I just dont feel that they care for me in any way. Where is that real connection that i have hoped for? The sharing of future plans, more group activities etc. Nothing at all. Just gushes over the latest taiwan drama, Hana Kimi. They may have different views on how to spend time with friends. Or strangers. Fine. One just recently asked a favour of me - to edit her uni admin essay. I accepted though i was pressed for time. Why?? Thinking that this action of mine can still try to preserve some feelings of goodwill? I am fooling myself if i say that she thought of me as a friend to rely on in this hour of need. No. No more idealisms from me. She just saw the cold hard pro's and thought: hey, a free editor for the taking! Whatever.
We are just seeing each other as a form of obligation to fulfill. And i am the one responsible for this. Forcing meetings, being the middleman, sending numerous smses, receiving "Im not free", "Im anything up to u guys" type of msgs, arranging and planning etc. What for?! No point glueing up the broken pieces when some are already missing.
Damn i wanted to talk bout more exciting happenings but this unlodged angst just spoiled my mood.
Im hungry.
O and im watching Phantom Of The Opera on the night of 17 April. Cant wait!
Im quitting my job after this month.
I want to study sociology! And enter NUS' University Scholar's Programme. Have not written the essay yet. Have lost the intense stream of ideas generated when i've first read the question. Should have done it sooner!
Enough of Life's excesses. I have always known what i wanted in Life. But either i dont dare to acknowledge them or are still buried in loose luggage.
Enough shopping. Especially shortie skirts.
mood-o-meter: tense stomach X.x
